Hills, Elephants, and Alan Rickman: I Wish I Could Read

I wish I had learned to love to read. This was one of my most hated truths about myself. Actually, I think it’s my only hated truth. Well, at the very least, until I uncover some new ones… but i digress. I think that loving to read would’ve been fucking awesome. Like Thrift Store awesome.

If you follow what goes on the interwebz from time to time, books really do trump TV and film, like crazy. The book is always better: words seem to come out easier because I think your mind just works more efficiently. As opposed to mindless TV and Film shit…, with the audio-visuals you don’t think anymore. You accept what you see on the screen as biblical truth (or to some extent of that). Reading, I believe would’ve required you to read between the lines (no pun intended) and crack messages and shit.

Think about it: Die Hard TELLS you Alan Rickman’s a bad dude. Ernest Hemingway’s Hills Like White Elephants is about ABORTION (or so I’m told). But regardless if those facts are true or not (with the case of Die Hard… I mean C’mon buddy) this is just the type of situation that merits a discussion about Books VS TV/Film.

Reading just seems to open up a lot for a person. If I had learned to love to read back when I was young I definitely would’ve had better grades, I would’ve saved more money on crap movies based on books, I would’ve made money on all the books I’ve bought throughout the years, Game of Thrones (or A Song of Fire and Ice for you elitist bastards) would’ve done the impossible of bringing me to tears 13 years ago, and and still being ahead of Season 3… Cause Come on, they’re both on the same level. Of course there would be exceptions. There will always be exceptions, on both sides (Taken 2 or Philippine Romance Books), and sometimes even at the same time (like Twilight, that was both the TV and books fault) but the exceptions will be few and far in between, some times even being a rarity. Like McTwisters on your regular fries, or the Philippine Government actually doing a good job.

Instead I fell in-love with the still, and in your face personality of TV. Like billions of people in this earth, I fell in love with TV. I respected books, and literature, but i preferred TV. I’m not ashamed of it all, 99% of the population is with me on this one (even if they don’t know it yet). It’s not our fault, guys! Don’t worry about. TV is a charming mother fucker. TV even had that uber hot elder sibling, Film, those fuckers are the Devil.

They hook you in too, like deeply. You’ll be at home one day, and you decide to turn on the tube, and watch a bit of TV, you know, nothing too serious, too bad. It’s just TV. Then you get hooked to a shows like Friends, Seinfeld, Power Rangers (we all did), awesome Kung Fu movies on SBN 29, and TV airings of The Karate Kid.

Then outta nowhere, you started seeing trailers on IBC 13, on fucking, PTV 4. First they local trailers, so you didn’t really know much about em. Nor did you really care. But, still you watched them, they were interesting enough. Again, it’s only TV, it’s harmless. That’s when you meet the elder sibling.

What are these films? and movies? They’re insane! Cars are exploding, people kissing, parties happening, etc. What’s a little kid to do? I didn’t those were possible. And the fact that you saw this on the TV made it seem even more OK. Cause, again, while at that point, Cinema was a nobody to you, TV was. So it was ok.

Until you saw the trailer of the uber shit-fest, “The Muscles From Brussels” Jean Claude Van Damme vehicle, “Street Fighter the Movie”. Now, keep in mind you’re a 8 year old or something at this point in time. But WHAT THE FUCK? That’s a fucking VIDEO GAME, and it’s a fucking Movie. Years later you’ll realize, that while it was a movie, it was not only an extreme waste of time and money, but an extreme waste to the talents of Raul Julia, who would later die that year (However, He did say he wanted to do the movie to spend more time with his kids who were, like me at that time, a big fan of the series (his kids prolly didn’t like to read as well), and Raul is considered by ALL PEOPLE IN THE WORLD as the only saving grace of that film.

Beyond this point is a whirlwind romance with both siblings (often at the same time). It will bring about man sleepless nights, various amounts of money spent, a near obsession with seeing the trailers before the start of the movie. It’ll be retarded as fuck.

Thankfully, it’s the whirlwind three-way you have with TV and Film isn’t permanent. I mean, it is, if you want it to be. But sometimes you come across something and someone that helps you out. It could be any number of things, KrisTV, getting lost and finding your way and then getting lost again in the word of Catcher in the Rye, and someone who lends you books shes read as toddler and you start reading them while doing your business (Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events).

Once you encounter these things, or similar events, TV and Film’s hold on you seem to waver a bit. It’s still there, of course, something like that can’t be erased or forgotten over night. It’ll probably be etched in your humanity for the rest of your life. It’s one of those life events you just can’t over, like missing Spain with the 2010 World Cup in Pamplona while you celebrate San Fermines with the rest of the region. You don’t forget that shit. But you get over it. Of course that’s not to say that I wouldn’t do whatever it takes to go back to Spain for San Fermines 2014 with the hope that Spain bags it’s 2nd World Cup title in a row.

Perhaps soon you could learn to understand others as well. Take Photography, Painting, Sculpture, Dance (or wathing Recitals and shit), Music, etc. etc. Again, reading just tend to open you up for more.

Bottom line is, it happens. Sooner or later you’ll be able to Hannah Montana that shit.

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