I’m a big fan of movies. One movie, I particularly enjoy watching over and over again, is the Ridley Scott epic, Kingdom of Heaven. It’s about heaven. No, it’s not. It’s about the crusades, Orlando Bloom finding out that Liam Neeson is his father and in turn inherits a vast land in Jerusalem and in turns has an affair with Eva Green who is married to the dude from Aeon Flux and Kangaroo Jack, and the brewing tension between the Catholics and the Muslims which was slowly slipping into an all out Jihad. It’s an awesome, fucking, film. However… no matter how simply idiotic my quick-wit description of this film sounds, this isn’t the entire story.